Man Off The Moon

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George W. Bush's boy-like vision of putting more astronauts on the moon by 2020 was crushed this week with an announcement from the Obama administration that the Constellation program is being canceled.

The program was to use existing technology to put humans back in moon boots and, presumably, make moon-landing conspiracy theorists shut the hell up, once and for all. But, apparently, spending billions of dollars and thousands of hours to do something you've already done is "faux pas" for well-functioning government agencies like NASA.

So, when looking at funding requests last week, the Obama administration examined the over-budget, behind schedule, lacking in innovation project, and cut it. Not without criticism, of course: the cut will mean lost jobs at Alabama's Marshall Space Flight Center, and Republican representatives are not shy to use this as political fodder, calling it the "death march for the future of US space flight."

This hyperbolic statement completely ignores the $6 billion funding boost promised to NASA over the next five years. It also ignores the progress made in sending robots off to do our exploration for us, without the risks of radiation, dehydration, muscle atrophy, and cabin fever.

I mean, look how long the Mars rovers lasted - they are both over 2000 Martian days over warranty. And have you seen the new R2 robots from GM? Let's face it...us pitiful humans are on the way out of this space race we started a mere 53 years ago.

~Rheanna Sand

Meet George Jetson

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Messy people, rejoice! Your salvation is near... The Korea Institute of Science and Technology has revealed what could be the future of home cleaning; a humanoid robot maid with rotating arms and legs, six fingers, and an eternally pleasant disposition.

Or, in other words, Rosie without the attitude. "Mahru-Z" is a 1.3 meter, 55 kg robot assistant capable of tasks surpassing any of its (his? her? It looks like a boy, so I'm going with that) robot predecessors.

He can pick up dirty clothes, put them in the washing machine and turn it on. Put fruit in a bowl and place it on the dinner table. Turn on microwave ovens and toasters (presumably only when there's something inside them.) And pick up numerous other objects like sandwiches and cups, recognizing when a task needs to be done, and performing it by remote control through interaction with a computer server.

What makes Mahru-Z unique from previous robots is his autonomy. He can "see" three dimensional objects with visual sensors, and navigate rooms with total independence. So his greatest potential isn't only in the domestic domain. It's also in situations that are too dangerous for humans, like operating machinery in space, or on the moon.

So when can you buy this Jetson-esque robo-butler? Well unfortunately, they're nowhere near the mass production stage. But really, this is probably for the best. Because truth be told, we all know deep down that Mahru's [bring fruit to table] command is just one glitch away from [bring sharp knife to owner's head].

For now, it's probably best to stick with the Roomba.

- Brit Trogen

Not a Flesh EATR

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Nothing will ever be as creepy as the writhing, Japanese-made robot child, but the rumors about the Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot come pretty close.

EATR looks like your typical battlebot - it's small, has tracks to move around, and one long arm with pincers on the end. But these little guys have something extra - a hybrid external combustion engine that can convert biomass into electrical energy.

"Biomass," of course, meaning any matter than comes from an organism, living or dead. Which is why some media went a little crazy when news of this robot first emerged. They dubbed it the "flesh-eating robot" and claimed it could feed on human bodies.

The companies involved, Cyclone Power Technologies and Robotic Technology Inc., quickly issued a statement reassuring the public that EATR is a VEGETARIAN. In this case, biomass means strictly plant material. EATR would use its robotic arm to forage for leaves, twigs, or wood chips. It could also burn traditional fuels, like gasoline or kerosene, if it had to.

Or maybe douse you in them, set you afire, and feast on your roasted remains...if you watch certain entertainment news channels, that is.

Do not fear the EATR. Commercializing this technology leads us one more step away from our reliance on fossil fuels for generating electricity. And besides, vegetarians rarely have the strength to put up a fight.

~Rheanna Sand